in a way of our own, but not on our own
I felt like I lost my ability to get out words again for a while over the last few weeks.
I eventually found myself back in hospital. At first, I saw it as an indication that all of my work to find stability over the last few years has been useless. But then, I began talking. I heard myself use words and tell my story. I am someone who went through a time of complete silence. I felt talking was an option I’d never have. But last week, I told my story to over 10 doctors in one day. In the time that followed past inpatient experiences, I felt that the process of finding the words to communicate about words and communication gave me important motivation. I’ve realized that this time, I’m feeling that the idea of learning about motivation itself is what’s bringing me motivation. Being a human is a pretty tough job sometimes. It can take so much work for us to feel okay. Though when we push for connection, it’s easy to find hope. There’s hope because, as humans, we will all experience struggle in our own ways. This means though, that we all have the ability to hear other’s experiences with a level of empathy. When we can lay out and share what makes us feel distant, we have the ability to become closer. Maybe we’ll never truly see and feel in exactly the same way, but because it’s different, we can know that it’s not only okay to be different, but it’s because of the differences that we can find similarity. Because of this, I’m excited to be entering an outpatient program where I get to learn a little more about how to be a human 🌎😌👍🏻