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Come on words, you had ONE job :)

Some of the most painful moments of struggle are the ones where nothing makes sense. Some of my hardest moments, have been ones where I've realized that if I can't understand and put words to what's going on, nobody can help.

Even as I write that though, I feel a bit of that same frustration about those typed words, that those typed words are supposed to explain. I feel that what I wrote sounds painfully dull. The words seem just too overused. So much so, that it's diluted the truth of them. When nothing makes sense, the most frustrating barrier can be a loss of words. You can't connect, reach out or explain if you don't even know what's going on yourself. In moments like that, I think it's easy to feel that words aren't enough. Simply saying "sad" , "lonely" or "scared" - that means nothing anymore. We use those words so much that it can feel that we can't possibly use them to describe the physical desolation that they're meant to indicate. Come on words, you had ONE job! :) Please, just explain, just denote some reason, just sort out this tangled chaos, please. But words are so stubborn, and so subjective from person to person, it takes so much tweaking to externalize what is so solidly internal.

What I've found helps, is remembering to reconnect the origin of feeling back into words, into any and all words! Let "happy" truly indicate that fluttering carefree frolicking feeling. Emotions are such a crucial part of how we gage worth. When they become glossed over as normal, they lose all meaning. When someone tells you their day was "hard", they probably experienced many more layers than we might commonly understand through just one word.

Even though it can take paragraphs of intricate and carefully selected prose to whittle out what it is to feel, it only takes one sudden, densely packed moment to experience what every one of those words tries to convey. No wonder it hurts. Ow. :) Everyone feels to those same surprising extremes, but not everyone is lucky enough to have the words (and people) required to transform the inside, out. Just... be nice. It matters. It's "hard" to be a human. Though when we listen, we see that often, we're a lot more similar than it sometimes seems 😌

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